Perfect Hanna
by JDeLaurentis
Summary: Miss popular, perfect Hanna? I wonder what you'd be known as if I let out your not-so perfect secret. -A
1. When it Comes Back

Hearing her mother leave for work, Hanna hesitantly took a box of Cheez-itz and ran upstairs to her bathroom. Hanna stared at all of her imperfections in her mirror; she was disgusted by every part of herself. She shook her head with disgust, knowing the only solution that would make her feel better. She hadn't done it for weeks, she was trying to get over it.

"Don't start this again. I'm better than this. Don't, don't." Hanna whispered as tears fell down her face.

But Hanna knew better than to try and convince herself not to do this. It never worked. She had tried to many times. She quickly fought to stop the tears falling. Her face didn't need to be puffier than it already was.

Hanna slowly sat down on the bathroom floor next to the toilet and opened the box of Cheez-itz. Slowly, she began to eat cracker after cracker while memories came rushing back to her.

_I hear prison food makes you fat._

_Are you really going to eat that, sweetie? _

_I liked that girl! This girl seems..desperate._

_Heads up, hon. Hefty Hanna never gets the guy._

_Unless you want to go back to spending your weekends alone. Dance Dance Revolution and a jumbo bag of chips._

_Don't make me sorry I ever included your big wannabe butt in the first place._

Hanna looked down at the Cheez-itz box, but they were all gone. Her stomach felt as if it was going to explode. The Cheez-itz needed to get out of her.

Hanna stood up and looked in the mirror one more time. She put her hair in a messy pony tail then looked away quick, not wanting to see herself. She faced the toilet.

Kneeling down at the toilet, this was all too familiar for Hanna. She shut her eyes, not wanting to look at what she was about to do, but following the binging was always the purging.


	2. The Unwanted Visitor

Hanna sat in the corner of her bathroom crying, what she usually did after performing her disgusting ritual. She could see herself in her full length mirror, and she quickly got up and turned the mirror away from her. She hated looking at herself after she purged.

Her whole body felt awful. Her throat felt as if it was on fire, and when she tried to speak it killed. She had a huge headache, and the smell of the bathroom she had yet to clean up was making her extremely nauseous. Since she hadn't taken a shower yet, her hair did not have it's usually shine and was all tangled between the pony tails she had hurriedly put in her hair. She sighed; she was such a mess.

Hanna slowly stood up to start cleaning the bathroom when the overwhelming smell of the bathroom took over and she puked into the toilet once again, disposing of whatever could have been left in her weak stomach.

"God.." she cried as she leaned up against the wall in tears.

But then she heard a knock on the door. Hanna froze.

_No no no no.._ she thought. _Please not now. Oh god._

Hanna left the bathroom and slowly crept down the stairs, trying to get a glimpse of whoever could have possibly been ringing her doorbell at nine on a Saturday. She prayed it was some kid selling candy bars; the last thing she needed was to see someone she knew.

It was Sean. Hanna widened her eyes as she saw him look over through the window and she ran back upstairs. She hoped he wouldn't walk in.

She frantically wiped off her mouth and did her best to get put together in the little time she had. She managed to put her hair in a neater ponytail and change her shirt before she heard the front door open downstairs.

"Hanna, what the hell?" she heard Sean yell.

Hanna walked out of her room and looked down at Sean from the top of the steps. "Sorry. I didn't mean to, you know.."

"Um, it's alright.." Sean said as he began walking up the stairs. "Did you forget about working on the History project this morning?" He said, eying her up and down, obviously shocked she didn't look put together for once. "Are you sick, or something..?"

_Only from my own making._ Hanna thought. "Now just isn't a good time." she told Sean. She hated lying to him, but that wasn't really a lie, was it?

Sean looked at her in the eyes, worried. Hanna knew he'd never seen her look this bad before. Her and Mona had made it a point to never let anyone see them cry, and to never let anyone see their big, puffy face afterwards.

"Have you been crying?" he asked, concerned. Hanna looked up at him, thinking of a way to dodge the question. "Han, what is it?"

"I need you to go." she snapped. Sean just stood in shock. "Now!" She was on the verge of tears.

Sean didn't look hurt. "Whatever is going on, hopefully this will help," he said as he leaned in for a kiss.

Hanna turned away. She couldn't let him smell her mouth, which reeked of vomit. She didn't want to see his reaction, so she ran back in her room, locked the door, fell onto her bed and cried. Her phone vibrated and she read the threatening message over and over.

**Look what you've done, Hanna. He knows you're hiding something. Are you going to tell him or should I? Though I can't guarantee what I say will be the truth. -A**


	3. Good Morning, Cutter!

Depressed because of what she did to Sean Saturday morning, Hanna was not in the mood to talk to anyone the rest of the weekend. She spent the rest of Saturday laying in bed in her room, and Sunday trying to do the load of homework she had. She had about twenty missed calls on her phone from Sean, Mona, Spencer, Emily, and Aria. Sean had knocked on her door about three times, but she couldn't answer. She wasn't ready to face him.

On Monday morning, Hanna had no choice but to go to school. Her mom had just got back from a business trip and had a day off of work, so she wouldn't be able to skip. She sighed as she looked in the mirror as she was putting on her makeup. Her throat had really been aching on the weekend, and her neck had red marks and scratches on it from holding and itching it to try and ease the pain. She tried to cover it up, but it was still clearly visible.

She walked downstairs to her mom cooking breakfast and the table set with three plates. Hanna looked around, confused. "Someone coming over?" she asked.

"Your father insisted he come over for breakfast," her mom said, not even looking at Hanna.

"Um, why?"

Her mom didn't answer. She just went back to cooking.

Just as Hanna began to think of why he would be coming over on a school day, her phone went off.

**I gave your father a special letter. He's concerned about you, but it's not what you think. Enjoy! -A**

Hanna froze. _Oh my god, _she thought. The last thing she wanted was her parents to know about her problem. But who knows what A could have put in that letter? She had to tell her mom that someone was pulling a joke.

"Mom, this-" she got interrupted by a knock on the door. Her mom didn't acknowledge Hanna and nervously ran over to the door. She heard her parents greeting each other and she sat down at her place at the table.

"Hanna Banana" her dad greeted her as he gave her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled but said nothing. She was too nervous to say hello to him.

Her mom and dad sat down at the table, giving Hanna awkward stares. She noticed her father had a letter beside his plate. Hanna widened her eyes.

"Okay, can you just tell me what is going on here?" Hanna asked, worried.

Her dad picked up the letter and sighed. "Hanna, I received a letter from your school's therapist, Dr. Preston. She said she's very concerned about the cuts you have on yourself and would like to meet with you tomorrow. Purposely cutting yourself is not a good thing to do, sweetie."

Hanna widened her eyes. Cutting herself? "WHAT? You think I'm cutting myself?"

Her mom answered. "Hanna, you have scratches on your neck right now, and I've seen some on your arms last month. I was just too busy to think of what they really were."

"Mom, I already told you I got those from the glass when I wrecked Sean's car! God, you can't really believe I'm doing that to myself can you?" Hanna screamed as she stood up.

"Honey, we'd just really like you to meet with the therapist. You've been going through a lot lately, with Alison's body being found and going to the police station. We're not going to think badly of you, we just want to help you." her dad calmly told her.

"But there is nothing wrong with me!" she yelled. "I don't cut myself!"

Her parents weren't believing her. She ran upstairs to her room and slammed the door behind her. Her phone went off.

**Don't you love my little games? -A**

No, Hanna didn't. Because A always won.


	4. Lying Doesn't Always Work

Hanna managed to sneak out of her bedroom's window so she wouldn't have to face her parents. She was a professional at it; Mona and her would always sneak out at night.

She's figured A had anonymously told Dr. Preston Hanna was cutting herself, and Dr. Preston believed A so she sent the letter. The last thing Hanna wanted to do was go to therapy for a problem she didn't have. What would Sean think of her?

Hanna was really late when she got to school; first period would be over soon. She couldn't take the car without running into her parents, so she jogged the two miles to get there. She ran into English out of breath and went up to Mr. Fitz's desk.

"Sorry for being late," Hanna whispered to him. He nodded and she began to walk to her seat when he called after her.

"Oh, Hanna, Dr. Preston told me to tell you she needed you in her office immediately." He unknowingly said it loud enough for the class to hear.

Hanna quickly glanced at the classroom. Everyone was staring at her and whispering to the people around them. She knew what they were thinking. Why is perfect Hanna Marin being sent to the therapist office? Spencer, Aria, and Emily gave her a worried look, probably thinking Hanna might say something at A. Hanna shook her head at them quickly, assuring them not to worry.

She walked back to Mr. Fitz's desk. "Could you have made that any louder?" she quietly snapped as she went out the door, slamming it behind her.

Hanna sat outside the therapist office freaking out. Her whole body was shaking. She had no idea what she was going to say to Dr. Preston about her "problem." She didn't even know anything about cutting yourself, or why cutters did what they did. How the hell was she supposed to answer the questions Dr. Preston would ask her? Her only other option was to tell Dr. Preston about why she really had those few scratches on her neck, and she couldn't do that.

While she was running to school, Hanna had thought about the possibility of telling Dr. Preston about her real problem instead of wasting time talking about a problem she didn't have, but she quickly scrapped that idea. It would take Hanna much longer to recover from her real problem than to pretend to recover from a fake problem. But Hanna didn't even know if she wanted to get help with her bulimia. She didn't want to lose the one thing in her life that made her feel as if she was in control.

But then Hanna thought about the fact that she could try and lie her way through the session, telling the therapist she did nothing wrong to herself. Hanna didn't have a problem with lying, and she was very good at it.

Dr. Preston opened the door and motioned Hanna in without a word. Hanna took a seat on one of the bright blue chairs. Dr. Preston closed the door behind her and sat across from Hanna.

"Hello, Hanna," she said, finishing her greeting with a small smile.

Hanna smiled back at Dr. Preston, not bothering to say hello.

"I know you're probably nervous. Most new patients of mine are. Especially ones with a case as serious as yours."

Hanna sighed and rolled her eyes. "I don't have a problem. I'm not an idiot. I don't cut myself."

Dr. Preston widened her eyes. "Hanna, we got a letter from one of your best friends saying they have walked in on you doing it to yourself before, and the friend gave us multiple sound recordings of you crying. When I talked to your parents, they both said they've seen a few cuts on your arms and there are currently many scratches on your neck," she told Hanna.

"In case you didn't know, I was in a car crash last month. Glass broke and cut me in a few places," she snapped.

"You were in a car crash, yes, but you crashed the car. Was this an act to try and get yourself hurt?" Dr. Preston said to Hanna, sympathy in her voice.

Hanna was shocked she would actually ask that question. "Are you being serious? You think I tried to crash my boyfriend's car so I could hurt myself?"

"Hanna, I'm trying to help you. If you didn't crash it to hurt yourself, why did you crash his car?"

Hanna didn't want to tell Dr. Preston she had been drunk when she crashed the car, she didn't even tell her mom that.

"I didn't do it to hurt myself. I'm not answering any more questions about the crash." She paused. "Who exactly sent you the letter?"

Hanna already knew it was from A, but maybe Dr. Preston knew who had sent it in.

"The letter was anonymous. He or she didn't want you to get upset with them for trying to help you." she answered.

"Trying to help me, as in, making up a complete lie about me?" Hanna said loudly to the therapist.

"Hanna, please let me get through my questions. Why do you have those scratches on your neck? They couldn't gotten there in the car crash.

_Oh, crap, _Hanna thought. She hadn't had time to think of the right answer to this question.

"I, uh, my skin gets irritated sometimes," she lied. "It gets really itchy. I hadn't clipped my nails and they were jagged. It made a few scratches."

Hanna hoped she sounded convincing enough. But Dr. Preston's patients probably always denied they did anything wrong to themselves. She had probably heard every excuse there was.

Dr. Preston finished writing on the paper on her clipboard. "This has been interesting, Hanna." _As in, I didn't believe anything you told me?_ Hanna thought. "Now you can go off to second period. Is Wednesday morning a good time for our next meeting?" she asked.

Hanna stood up. She walked toward the door as she snapped, "Whatever. It's your time you're wasting.

Somehow, the word got out that Hanna got sent to Dr. Preston's office and rumors started to go around as to why she was there. She felt like all eyes were on her as she sat in her second, third, and fourth period classes and it was making her really nervous. A knew why she was in there. She couldn't let that rumor spread around.

When the lunch bell rang, Hanna got out of her seat quickly. She had to get to lunch and tell Aria, Spencer, and Emily what happened. She went to her locker and observed the scratches on her neck in her mirror. They seemed to be really obvious. She sighed.

"Lady H, I hear you're getting therapy for obsessively looking at yourself in the mirror," Mona joked as she walked up to Hanna's locker.

"Mona, don't believe anything people are saying please. Dr. Preston just wanted to ask me some questions and make sure I was okay with my dad's marriage. It was stupid," she lied.

Mona looked at her suspiciously. "Whatever. But Sean told me he wants to talk to you. Like, now," she told Hanna as she began to walk away.

Hanna really didn't want to talk to Sean. Who knows what he heard about her? Maybe she wouldn't go to the cafeteria..

She got out her phone and texted Aria, Spencer, and Hanna.

**Meet me in the lower art room for lunch. Important. -Han**

The lower art room was always empty during lunch hour, and it had really thick brick walls so the chances of anyone hearing what was going on in the room was slim. Hanna figured it would be the perfect place to talk to the girls about A without he/she hearing.

Aria, Spencer, and Emily all arrived together and sat at the table Hanna was at.

"Han, what is it?" Aria asked.

Hanna hesitated. "Why do you guys think I was sent to the therapist office?" she curiously asked.

The girls looked at each other nervously.

"We called Sean on the weekend, to see if he could get a hold of you. He said he couldn't. I guess you weren't talking to anyone, huh?" Spencer said.

Hanna groaned. "That doesn't answer my question."

"Hanna, he told us he went to see you on Saturday morning, and you were a wreck. He said you looked like you were just crying for a while. He said he leaned in for a kiss, and you turned away. He said he's concerned, which is making us worry about you too." Emily told Hanna.

"You can tell us whatever happened, you know. We're always here for you." Aria added.

Hanna rolled her eyes. "A told Dr. Preston I cut myself. She believed A, and sent a letter to my parents. They're convinced I do."

The girls widened their eyes. "Why would A do that, though?" Spencer asked. "I mean, you don't actually do that, right?" she added, concerned.

"No! God, Spencer! What kind of person do you think I am?" she yelled.

"Hanna, calm down." Emily whispered, looking then at Hanna's neck. "What happened to your neck..?" she asked.

Hanna grabbed her neck which gave a sharp sting. She felt the scratches and sighed. She didn't want to tell them about why they were really there.

"Nothing happened to it. Anyway, back to the point. I need you guys to go tell Dr. Preston it was all a misunderstanding. _Please._ She's not going to believe me, and I can't keep sitting there getting help for a problem I don't have." She snapped.

The girls looked worried. "But there is obviously something going on with you, Hanna. Why else would you be so upset on Saturday morning?" Spencer asked, worried.

Hanna was getting furious. She needed them to help her get rid of the A problem, not worry about what was bothering her.

"Nothing is wrong," Hanna told them as she stood up. "Sean must have just misunderstood. I'll see you guys later." She walked out the door, leaving the other girls wondering.

Hanna couldn't be at the school with all the people making rumors about her, so she snuck out the back door. She ran the two miles back home and climbed up to her room window on the second floor. She was careful not to let her mom see her.

Hanna quietly sat on her bed and began to cry. She couldn't believe everything that was happening. Her parents and friends didn't believe her, and pretty soon A would most likely tell the whole school she cut herself.

As Hanna was about to go grab a bag of Cheetos from under her bed to binge on, her phone vibrated. She sighed as she opened the message and saw it was from A. She read the message over and over.

**Lying to your friends now, huh? Don't worry, I've just told them the truth, so you don't have to worry about it. -A**


	5. Only Lucas Could Help

After sitting in her room for a few hours until the school day was over, Hanna didn't know who to talk to or where to go. She didn't want to face her parents or Sean, and definitely not Aria, Spencer, and Emily. The girls had all texted her and told her they were coming over in the evening. Hanna sighed. She didn't even want to go out in public in case she saw someone she knew. She knew she couldn't do anything to stop them from coming over. Lucky for her, she also knew they wouldn't dare tell her mom before talking to her about it. So as long as she avoided them, everything would be okay, right?

Hanna looked through her phone contacts. She thought about calling Mona and asking her to hang out, but Mona must've known Hanna cut the second half of the school day, and she wasn't in the mood to answer questions. Then she stopped at a certain person in her contact list. Lucas.

Lucas wasn't normally the type of person Hanna hung out with. The people she hung out with (besides Aria, Spencer, and Emily) were the type of people to judge you based on your imperfections, and the type who always expected you to be perfect. Lucas was different, though. He was very.. real. Hanna never hung out with him outside of school, but who else could she talk to? She decided to call him.

He picked up after the first ring. Hanna laughed; he was probably over excited someone as popular as her was calling him.

"Hey Hanna! Need some help selling something?" he said, laughing.

Hanna laughed. She always laughed when she was around Lucas. It was so different than when she was with Sean. "Can I like, come over, or something?"

Lucas was obviously caught off guard by her question. "Um, yeah, sure. If you want. Why?" he asked.

"Can two friends not hang out together?" Hanna joked. "Actually, I just need to get my mind off things. What's your address?"

She wrote down the address. He gave her an address to an apartment, and she wondered how the hell he could pay for Rosewood Day if he lived in an apartment. Thank god he was letting her come over.

"Oh, Hanna, it's my grandma's apartment, by the way. She's not home, that's just where I'm at. It's apartment 3c." he added.

Ten minutes later, Hanna arrived at Lucas's grandma's apartment building. She had never really been in an apartment before, she didn't even know anyone who lived in one.

She knocked on the door. When no one answered, she knocked again. Finally the door opened.

Hanna was shocked when Mr. Fitz opened the door. He had a really shocked expression on his face, like seeing Hanna at his apartment was _the_ worst thing that could happen to him.

"I'm guessing I got the wrong door.." Hanna mumbled, and took out her phone getting ready to call Lucas. He still looked completely shocked. "God, why are you like, freaking out?"

Mr. Fitz blinked a few times and got a normal expression on his face. "I, uh.. sorry. See you tomorrow." he said before closing the door.

_That was weird, _she thought. Hanna dialed Lucas's number. Again, he answered right away. "Lucas, I'm in the building. Where the hell is this apartment?"

He laughed. "It's 3c."

Hanna looked at Mr. Fitz's closed door. It said 3b; she looked to the right and there was 3c.

"Oh, right," she mumbled. "Well open the door for me, I'm here."

Lucas opened the door. He was dressed in a t-shirt with an alien on it. Hanna let out a laugh; the type of laugh her and Mona would use when they were making fun of someone. Then Hanna remembered, Lucas was her friend.

"What's so funny?" he asked, embarrassed he did something wrong.

Hanna felt bad for laughing at him. "Nothing. Thanks for letting me over." she said as he let her inside the apartment. It was really tiny with a bunch of pictures of Lucas and what she assumed were his cousins, and it smelled like homemade food. It was really cute; anyone could have guessed an old lady lived here. "I didn't really know where else to go," she added, then realizing she had said too much.

Lucas looked concerned. "Why? Something wrong?"

Hanna ignored him. She looked at the fridge. "Do you like, have a drink?" She needed to get her mind off everything; a good drink or two would do it.

He walked over to the fridge and opened it. "Yeah. Do you want a water bottle?" he asked.

Lucas obviously didn't know what Hanna meant when she asked for a drink. The expression on her face seemed to give it away.

"Oh, that type of drink." he said awkwardly. "I, uh-"

Hanna smiled. "What, you've never had a pretty girl come over and ask for a drink?" she joked, although she knew he hadn't.

He looked really nervous. She found it cute. "I don't think my grandma has any drinks.."

Hanna hadn't ever been to a house without drinks. Drinking was pretty big in Rosewood; people found any excuse they could to get a drink.

"Well then you're going to find another way to get my mind off things." she told him, knowing he was wondering what was bothering her. She decided to change the subject. She looked around the room, her eyes laying on the ping pong table. She wondered why a grandma had a ping pong table in such a small apartment.

"I bet you anything I can beat you," she said to Lucas.

"I highly doubt that. Twenty bucks?" he asked.

Hanna laughed as they went over to the ping pong table. Maybe just having fun would get her mind off of things. Maybe.

Four hours later and twenty more bucks in her pocket, Hanna left Lucas's grandma's apartment. She actually had a really great time, and managed to not think about A or the whole mess for a few hours. They had first played Ping Pong then watched a movie. Being with Lucas was so much different than Sean; Hanna felt as if she could be herself.

Hanna began to open the door to leave the apartment when she heard laughs next door outside of Fitz's apartment. She peeked, hoping she could see who this was. She was absolutely shocked.

She saw Aria. Mr. Fitz's _student, _kissing him.

She closed the door behind her. "Oh my effing god!" she screamed.


	6. And Finally She Breaks Down

_Aria, whose back was turned, jumped at the sound of Hanna's voice. Hanna stood with her mouth open and her eyes wide. She was speechless. Never had she ever expected to see that._

"_Oh my god," Aria whispered. "Han, it's not what it looks like."_

_Mr. Fitz didn't say anything. He just stood there looking terrified. Hanna suddenly realized why he was so shocked when she was at his door. He probably thought Aria told her something.._

"_Are you saying you weren't just making out with your English teacher? Because, um, that's kind of illegal." Hanna said. Then she remembered the guy Aria was seeing. "Is this the guy from Iceland?"_

_Aria turned and looked Mr. Fitz in the eyes. He looked confused. Hanna walked up to them._

"_Oh, don't worry, unless you were taking advantage of her I won't say anything," Hanna said, with a mysterious tone in her voice. Aria was familiar with the tone._

"_I-I wasn't," Mr. Fitz mumbled. _

"_God, Hanna. What's the catch?" Aria asked._

_Hanna grabbed Aria's arm hard and pulled her to the other end of the hallway. She had the perfect plan now, since she had something on Aria. She wouldn't tell about Fitz if Aria wouldn't tell about her purging._

"_Okay first, are you out of your mind? Making out with a teacher? What the hell were you thinking?" Hanna whispered. _

"_We… we met before school started. Please_ don't say anything. I'm begging you. What am I going to have to do to get you to not say anything?" she asked.

Hanna looked over at Mr. Fitz. He was staring at them. Hanna have him an annoyed look and he turned away.

"A told you about…uh," Hanna couldn't get the words out of her mouth. It sounded too weird to tell anyone else about it.

"That you're bulimic? Spencer, Emily, and I think it would be best if your parents knew.." Aria said.

"Are you serious? Aria, they're not going to find out. Because the second you tell my parents or anyone that I stick my finger down my throat, you're little secret," she started, pointing to Mr. Fitz, "gets out. And you better make sure Spencer and Emily don't either. Do we have an understanding?"

Aria sighed. "Hanna, but you're sick.. wouldn't you be happier if we got you help?"

Hanna was annoyed with Aria. Did Aria not understand what Hanna had told her?

"No! I'm not sick I'm fine!" Hanna screamed. Mr. Fitz looked over at her, confused. "What?" she yelled at him, then looking back at Aria. "Remember what I said," she whispered to Aria before going on her way out the apartment building. She stopped by Mr. Fitz on the way.

"Don't worry, I've got it covered. Unless Aria decides not to keep her mouth shut. You can go back to screwing little girls now." she snapped.

She left him and Aria speechless as she confidently walked out the door. Now she didn't have to worry about her secret getting out, unless Aria wanted hers to. As she got in her car, she got a message on her phone.

**Just because Aria and the other girls won't be spilling your secret doesn't mean I can't. -A**

Hanna arrived home about an hour later. She had stopped at a bar on the way home and had a quick drink; she knew when she got home she would be faced by her parents. She was reluctant to drive so quickly after she'd been drinking, but she managed to get home fine.

She saw that Aria, Spencer, and Emily's cars were in her driveway. _Are you kidding me,_ Hanna thought. She had made it clear to Aria she was not sick and her parents didn't need to know. If Aria had told her parents, Hanna would be beyond furious.

Hanna slammed her car door angrily and stomped up to her front door. Her mom opened the door before Hanna could. She couldn't read the expression on her mom's face.

"You've been drinking," Her mom stated, shaking her head in disagreement. Hanna said nothing; she couldn't look her mom in the eyes. "Your friends are here. We're going to talk after they leave."

Her mom let her in the house and Hanna walked into the kitchen, where the girls were sitting around the table. She eyed Aria and shook her head. "My room." Hanna snapped at them.

"What the hell did you tell my mom?" She yelled at them as they were all sitting on Hanna's bed.

They glanced around at each other nervously. "We didn't tell her anything." Emily said quietly. "Hanna.. have you been drinking..?

"Obviously. Can you just answer my question?" she screamed.

"Hanna! Calm down! Why don't we go get you a coffee.." Aria said. They all got up and left the room.

Twenty minutes later, Hanna had calmed down. She decided it was probably a bad idea to scream at them; her mom might hear.

"Hanna," Spencer said. "How long have you been doing it for?" she asked.

Hanna glared at Spencer. "I'm not ready to talk about that." she mumbled.

"But Hanna, you cannot keep doing this to yourself!"

Hanna broke down in tears. She couldn't deal with this anymore- with the questions, the secrets getting out, her being stalked on a daily basis. The girls put her arm around Hanna to comfort her.

"I-I don't know what I'm supposed to do," Hanna whispered.


	7. The Next Morning

Hanna sat on her bathroom floor, feeling really sick. She must've fallen asleep sometime when the girls were over, and now she felt really hung-over. Her mom opened the bathroom door and widened her eyes.

"Honey, are you alright?" she asked, walking over to Hanna. She grabbed a tissue and dabbed off the puke on Hanna's face off.

"I'm fine, really. I'll clean the bathroom up." Hanna stood up and walked over to get a towel in the closet. She put her hand on her forehead and looked at her mom. She groaned. "God, do you have any pills for headaches?"

Her mom looked really concerned and nervous. "Don't bother with the bathroom, I'll get to that later. But we need to talk, and we need to talk now" she demanded.

"I have to get to school." Hanna snapped.

"Hanna-" her mom started, before Hanna cut her off.

"MOM! I don't cut myself! I never have and I never will! Someone was just messing with me! Why would I ever even want to do that to myself?" She screamed before running out the door and getting in her car. She probably shouldn't even have been going to school since she felt so sick, but anything was better than being at home.

She walked into English a few minutes late first period after having to do all of her makeup in the school bathroom, and the whole class was staring at her. She looked at Mona, who was shaking her head. Hanna was really confused. What were they staring at? She looked the same as she always did.

Mr. Fitz stood by his desk in the room as Hanna went to sit in her seat.

"Hanna, this is the third time you've been late this week. You're going to have to go to the office.." Mr. Fitz told her.

Hanna gave him a smirk and walked back up to his desk.

She whispered, "I'm not going anywhere. Unless you want me to-"

Mr. Fitz interrupted her. "You might want to chew a piece of gum. Your breath still smells like the puke you forced yourself to throw up this morning." He whispered nervously. He then gave her a small smirk, as if to tell her she had as much on him as he had on her.

Hanna's mouth dropped open. Had her teacher really just said that to her? Had Aria told him? She turned around and gave Aria a death glare. She walked up to Aria's desk and grabbed her arm, jerking her up out of her seat. She didn't even care what the whole class thought of her at this point, she needed to go yell at Aria. "I'm taking Aria in the hallway." She snapped at Fitz, and slammed his classroom door behind her.

"What the hell?" Hanna screamed.

"I didn't tell him anything! He must've overheard us yesterday.. we weren't exactly being too quiet.." Aria whispered. "And you might want to be quieter right now; we're kind of in a hallway with doors open."

Hanna froze. How loud had she been yesterday? She couldn't even remember the whole day too clearly; she must've drunk too much last night.

"Fine. We'll handle this later. Why is everyone looking at me all weird in there?" Hanna asked.

Aria looked hesitant to tell Hanna the answer. "Word got around that you had lipo last summer.. and that's how you got so skinny."

Hanna was speechless. Lipo? Who even started that rumor? The last thing she wanted to do was go back in that classroom, but Mr. Fitz opened the door and motioned for them to come in. Hanna shook her head at him as she walked in.

She ignored the stares from the class and waited for the bell to ring. She quickly walked to the nurse's office. She could just play sick the rest of the day.

It wasn't hard to play sick. Hanna was pretty good at it. She just had to tell the nurse she had a major headache (which she actually did have) and then puke into the bucket when the nurse wasn't looking. She had done it before, but walking into the nurse's office she saw just who she didn't want to.

Sean was laying on one of the two beds. Hanna quickly turned to walk away, but Sean saw her. She sighed. He was looking at her like he didn't know what to say.

"Something you'd like to say to me?" she snapped.

"Lipo, huh?" he said.

Hanna stomped over to him, about to say something, when the nurse, Ms. Anne walked in.

"Hanna Marin? You okay?"

Hanna immediately changed the look on her face to a face that looked as if she was in pain. "I've got a really bad headache and my stomach is hurting me. I've been nauseous all day, too. And I puked this morning, I feel like I might again." It wasn't all a lie, really.

"Oh, wow. You can lay on the bed right here," she said, pointing to the bed next to Sean. "I'll get you something for the headache and a glass of water." Ms. Anne left the room, and Hanna went over to the bed.

"Are you okay..?" Sean asked.

"Hung-over. But Sean, I never had lipo. You can't possibly think I had lipo.." Hanna said, unsure of whether Sean did believe it.

"Hanna, I'd just like to know what's going on with you." he paused. "You seem completely.. out of it." he said, concerned.

Ms. Anne walked in the room, and Hanna went back into sick mode. She lied down on the bed and clutched her stomach like it hurt badly. Hanna took the three pills she was given as Ms. Anne went to her desk on the other side of her office. Hanna turned to Sean.

She groaned. "I told you Saturday and I'm telling you now. Nothing is going on."

Sean shook his head. "I'm not an idiot, Hanna. You were a mess on Saturday. I know you were sent to the therapist office because you cut yourself. I asked your mom."

Hanna sat up on the bed. "I DON'T do that to myself! It was a joke someone pulled on me. The scratches I had last month were from the glass cutting me when I wrecked your car. And my neck is from skin irritation. I'm fine. Believe me, Sean. Please. If you loved me, you would believe me." Hanna felt a tear in her eye.

Sean paused for a second and then reached over to put his hand on Hanna's. "I believe you." he said.

Hanna smiled. "Thank you."

She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, and glanced at the message. She sighed and put it back in her pocket.

**Skin irritation, huh? I don't think it's fair that you are lying to Sean. Maybe I should change that. -A**


	8. Does Wilden Know?

Hanna sat in her silver Prius crying and grabbing her throat to try and ease the unbearable pain it was giving her. She had been in the nurse's office all afternoon playing sick. After Sean left, it consisted of purging five times, disposing of everything that could have been in her stomach. Now her throat felt awful, so much it hurt way to much to speak, and her makeup was smeared all over her face from crying. She looked like a wreck.

She didn't mean to get back into the habit. She had done a very good job of not doing it for months now, but there was just so much going on in her life with A, Alison, Toby, Wilden, Sean, and practically everyone else that she just couldn't take it anymore. Now that she started again, the chances of her easily being able to stop were slim, and the chances of the problem getting as bad as it was the summer she lost the weight were much, much bigger. She didn't know what to do with herself; everything was so awful.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on her car window. It was Officer Wilden. Hanna wiped off her eyes and rolled down the window.

"What the hell do you want now?" she managed to yell, though each word was like a thousand needles piercing through her. She didn't look at Wilden and tried to hide her face as best she could, she didn't want him to see her like this.

His eyes widened. "I-uh, just wanted to have a chat. I can come at another time.."

A chat. Hanna should have guessed. It seemed like every day he would call her in to talk. Hanna rolled her eyes.

"A char about what? Screwing my mother? Chatting about what makes butter spread able?" she snapped.

Wilden looked really nervous, probably not sure what to say to Hanna at the moment. He, like everyone else, had never seen her like this.

"I just wanted to have a quick chat with you about Jenna Marshall."

Hanna's face went pale and her mouth dropped open. Did he _know?_ No, that's not possible. It _can't _be possible. Her life would be ruined if he knew.. There was no chance Hanna could talk to him about Jenna.

"I have to go.." she mumbled as she turned on her car and drove away.

In her car, Hanna frantically texted Aria, Spencer, and Emily SOS. They all arrived at Hanna's house in under five minutes. Between then, Hanna took a pill hoping to ease some of the pain in her throat so she could talk easily. She hoped it would work; she didn't need any questions from them.

They all sat around Hanna's kitchen table waiting for Hanna to speak. Hanna played with her ring on her right hand, something she always did when she was nervous.

"Officer Wilden came up to me in my car. He wants to speak to me.. about Jenna."

Aria almost choked on her water, Spencer's mouth dropped open, and Emily's eyes got _huge._

"WHAT?" Aria screamed.

"Why would he want to talk to you about Jenna? And why only you?" Spencer asked.

"He- he doesn't know.. does he?" Emily asked.

Hanna coughed, which turned out to be even more painful than yelling. She shrieked, and the other girls looked at each other, confused. She ignored it. As she got up to get a glass of water, she said, "No, I don't think he knows. He may know we know something, but I don't think he knows what we did. What the hell am I supposed to say to him?"

The girls paused, thinking. Spencer spoke first.

"Play dumb. Pretend like you don't know anything about Jenna or The Jenna Thing."

"Yeah," Aria agreed. "It's not even like we speak to her when he's around."

Hanna hesitated. All she had to do was lie to him to play dumb, right? She was a professional at lying; it couldn't be too hard. But Wilden already knows she's not the best behaved person, he did catch her shoplifting, after all. What is she going to say?

"I guess I can do that. But it's not like I have much time. I mean, he could be coming tonight to talk to me, I don't know." she said as she opened the cupboard and grabbed her emergency binging box of Cheez-Itz. She brought them to the table as Emily began to speak.

"Coming tonight, as in coming to your house? Why would he come to your house? Isn't that weird?" Emily asked.

Hanna paled. She never told them about how Wilden practically lived at her house for a few days. "Not really," she mumbled.

Hanna felt so powerless. Why couldn't anything just go well for once? Why was this all happening to her? She sighed and grabbed a handful of Cheez-Itz. The other girls looked at each other worriedly as Hanna began to binge on them.

"Han, don't.." Aria said reluctantly as she pulled the box away from Hanna, knowing exactly what she was doing. Hanna groaned and took the box away from Aria. The three sighed, but didn't bother to stop Hanna. Like they could ever make her stop.

There was an awkward pause until their phones all started to ring at the same time. They hesitantly picked up their phones and looked at the message on the screen.

**Don't forget. I know the truth. -A**


End file.
